Death

Yesterday, one of our dogs, Kava died. He may not have been originally mine or ours for that matter, but certainly, it was a painful experience. He only arrived in our home last year and yet the bonding it had created with the kids is so enormous that losing him never entered my mind.

His loss brings out all other issues, disturbing ones so it seems as the cause of his death is not clear to any of us, except that he fell off from the balcony.

Last night, as I put my daughter to sleep (she's eight years old and currently in Grade 2), after we prayed...I told her...it's okay to cry honey. And boy, she just poured it all out. It was a sight that was just heart-breaking. I've never seen her cry and in such a painful state as last night's. As a parent, I had to deal with all sorts of feelings, and sometimes, I wonder, when do I get to grieve? Well, I had my moments when the kids were asleep, during the night as I wasn't able to sleep at all, and yes while writing this. Introducing death to your kids is certainly not an easy thing to do. And of course, there is our son, who has down syndrome, who seems to be oblivious of what is happening. To think, he was there when it all happened. Then again, I can never tell what his feelings really are, as he refuses to talk about it even at school. He seems to act as if nothing happened since yesterday. But I know deep inside, he's also hurting. He may not be talking, he may not show any remorse, but I know deep inside, he cares... how do I know? I don't know, I guess I just feel it - we always had that connection. It frustrates me though...if only he talks to me...

I hope this loss will be an instrument to bringing our family closer. I've always believed that there's a reason for everything... I just hope, we all see that reason.

As for Kava, we love you and we will forever miss you. Thank you for the memories especially the ones you gave to my children!

And to all the parents out there, if you're thinking of giving your children pets, I guess, we also have to prepare ourselves to explain to our kids the cycle of life. Then again, there's really not enough preparation for all of us for things like these. At some point, we just have to trust - that our kids are resilient and will be able to handle it. As for us - the adults, I hope we can all be like our kids...